Right And Wrong Thinking And Their Results
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Much is said in these days in praise of sympathy. For the purposes of definiteness and proper discrimination in the consideration of the subject it is desirable to have a clear understanding of the meaning of the word and its necessities and requirements. Literally it means feeling identical with that which another feels, and its meaning includes the condition of being affected by the feelings or emotions of another, whether they are of pleasure or of pain. Such sensitiveness as would enable one to perceive and understand the conditions, physical, emotional, and mental, of another is a necessity without which these results could not be attained. This includes more than mere external affairs and surroundings.

There must not only be the ability to perceive and understand these, but also the ability to enter quite thoroughly and accurately into the whole situation and experiences of another; in other words, to put one's self exactly in another's place, see from his point of view, and estimate conditions by his standard. All helpful sympathy depends from first to last upon a sensitiveness of perception and feeling which shall enable one clearly to see the condition of another, but with a self-control which shall permit him to do so without perturbation of spirit or any disturbed or disordered thought or feeling.

Next in order comes the mental action which follows this recognition of conditions. As in all other events, these two actions, the perception of the condition and the thoughts which succeed this perception, constitute the two essential elements of the activity; and it is as important that this mental action should be right as it is that the perception of conditions should be correct, because it is this mental action which causes, guides, and directs all that follows. It is in consequence of erroneous action here that most serious mistakes are made.

It is wholly wrong to allow these recognitions so to pervade one's being and so to absorb one's emotional nature as to unfit him for helpfulness, for the very object of all these mental conditions is to equip us so that we may assist one another. Indeed, that is one of the primal and important objects of life itself, and whatever hinders or injures efficiency in that direction is most clearly injurious and wrong.

The sight of a burn and one's consciousness of the pain it causes may be allowed to suggest thinking which shall so fill the person with keen and realistic feelings akin to the anguish of the sufferer as to exclude all else. This is sympathy; and it is made up of the consciousness of the situation, the mental actions which follow that consciousness, and the physical feelings which are caused by those mental actions. All this may be almost instantaneous, and so intense as to create physical conditions similar to those which were witnessed. This was the case of the mother who, on witnessing an accident to her child's hand, was herself so moved by the sight that her own hand was similarly injured, though it was untouched except by her own thinking.

This is sympathy of the destructive kind. It is created and its character is decided by the thinking which follows the sight of the accident. The same thing is illustrated in the case of the surgeon. If he should allow his thoughts to run upon the fears of his patient, or if he should fill his mind with thoughts of the possible disastrous consequences of an accident in the course of the operation, he would wholly unfit himself for the work before him and prepare himself to make the fatal mistake.

That this is not exaggeration is seen in the almost universal experience of a man learning to ride the bicycle. Unless he can take his mind off the object with which he is liable to collide and think of something else, the collision is certain despite the rider's most strenuous efforts.

Similar mental actions are seen in thousands of cases. Too often the sympathizer allows his mind to run on painful, discordant, or dangerous conditions to the exclusion of all else, literally filling himself with similar conditions and utterly destroying any possible efficiency in serviceable directions. Too many think that this is the essential whole of sympathy, and that those who fail in this are hard- hearted and unsympathetic. That is, they think that we must mourn with those who mourn, weep with those who weep, be angry with those who are angry, despair with those who despair; and so on through the whole list of inharmonious thoughts and emotions. Unfortunately there is a large class of sufferers who are never satisfied unless they receive this perverted and pernicious sympathy.

All this is a serious mistake because it is discordant, and discordant sympathy, like all other discord, always results in injury to all who entertain it; besides, the influence of mind upon mind is such that even though no expression is given to the disturbing thoughts, yet both parties will be affected by them.

Why does the wise physician welcome one visitor to a patient and deny another? Because one manifests sympathy in a way that makes the sick person forget his pain and look cheerily out toward health with thoughts uplifted and hopes renewed. The other comes with pitying words and sorrowful looks -- sympathetic to the last degree, but as depressing as a wet blanket. The welcome visitor is not wanting in sympathy, and his appreciation of the situation is as keen and comprehensive as that of the other, but he refuses to allow his own mind to be occupied with discordant thoughts. He has as much friendliness and affection for the sufferer as the other, but is prompted by these emotions instead of by his vision of the suffering. This is sympathy of the right kind. It is sympathy with the best in man- kind instead of the worst, and it results in helpful- ness instead of injury.

We have considered sympathy in its relation to suffering, but that is only one of its manifestations. In its broader field it touches upon all human activities, encouraging, cheering, and stimulating mankind, turning failure into success and defeat into victory. The sympathy of one strong, fearless soul has strengthened many a fainting heart and has built the bridge over which many have crossed from despair to renewed hope and courage.

In the home, the schoolroom, in business and in social life, everywhere, it is sympathy that brings harmony and promotes happiness; but it must be of the right kind, for emotional sympathy uncontrolled by reason and discrimination, like an instrument badly out of tune, is disturbing and annoying.

This sympathy which has its root in sensitiveness, when rightly used, is the bond between persons, drawing them into the closest mutual relationship and enabling them to be the most to each other and to do the most for each other. Without it the world of human beings would be a mere collection or aggregation of integers with little more coherence than grains of sand on the seashore.

Humanity depends upon sympathy far more than it realizes and constantly receives it in unnoted ways. We do not understand why, but a sense of peace and strength comes as we look into some face seen perhaps for the first time; we hear a voice, and something within us responds in harmony. No one can measure its influence when this sympathy goes out from one whose soul is so filled with love for all humanity that he has an ear for every heart pulse that is beating.

It has been said that "next to love sympathy is the divinest passion of the human heart." It might well be said that true sympathy is born of that love which Jesus, the Christ, bade us have for one another -- a love which helps always, which is pure in thought, and word, and deed; which seeks always to elevate and strengthen. Of such loving sympathy there can never be too much. It may be given full range, for its fruit is always harmony. It has helped thousands back to life, health, and happiness; while its opposite, born not of love, but of apprehension, fear, and all the mental imaginings of evil which enter into and create destructive sympathy, has hurled many other thousands toward destruction and death.