 Have you ever felt being ignored, disregarded, or overlooked? You know other people can hear you, and yet it seems that all the words you’re saying are just entering their right ears and going out of their left ears immediately, without even registering on their minds. They seem to listen, but they don’t believe in what you’re saying. They may not be objecting obviously; but through their actions, you can see that they don’t have any intentions on doing what you have just said. What’s worse is that they would do anything the other person tells them to do…but they would never do the smallest favor for you! Can you relate to any of the following scenarios? Your mom favors your younger sister more than you. Even if she denies it and says that she loves both of you equally, it shows clearly because she gives your sister everything she asks for; but when it’s your turn to request something, she gives you unending reasons why it’s not the right time to grant you such wishes. Your teacher has his favorite student whom he always asks to monitor the whole class, gives irrational considerations, and allows being late with nothing but lame excuses. Your boss has his favorite employee whom he trusts with confidential matters, goes out with for lunch or dinner, and votes for as candidate of promotions. Unfair but true, people choose who to like, who to believe, who to follow, and who to love. Admit it. Even you have the same way of appraisal, right? You have your favorite actor, favorite politician, favorite basketball player, favorite teacher, favorite colleague, favorite friend, and the list can go on and on. No matter how much we deny it, it’s true that we always favor somebody from the rest of the group…even if we’re not aware of it. Hence, the question is not about whom we choose to like, believe, follow, and love anymore, as there will always be that person, but how we choose him. What are our criteria in picking out a person from a group and learning to appreciate him? Do we make standards as to who to like and hate, who to believe and disagree with, who to follow and disobey, and who to love and loathe? Usually, we do. For instance, in enrolling for academic classes, don’t we sign up for a professor who is smart but not a “terror,” assigns reasonable requirements, and gives good grades? In applying for a job, we look for high-paying employers who have concern and consideration for their employees’ well-being. And we even set standards for our partners-to-be in life! We want somebody who is God-fearing, responsible, good-looking, intelligent, and so on. Therefore, we look for these people. We exert time and effort to actually find someone who can meet our standards. Once we see them, meet them in person, and actually get to know them, we grab the chance right away and try not to let them go. They are one of a kind, you thought, as the object of your imagination has actually become a reality! However, there are people who don’t even possess any quality in our standard-list and yet we seem to be attracted to them. They may not be as good-looking as Brad Pitt or Cameron Diaz, or as influential as Bill Gates, but there seems to be an aura around them that tells us, “Believe me. Follow me. I know more than you do.” Hence, we choose to actually believe and follow them even if they don’t really match our criteria. Their secret? Personal charm or what is more popularly known as charisma. This magical and powerful quality of an individual is what makes everyone else notice him, not just look at him; listen to him, not just hear him; respect him, not just recognize him; and love him, not just admire him. With charisma, you don’t need to adjust to meet other people’s expectation of you. Instead, you can just be yourself and be loved by them just the same. Sad truth though, as much as all of us want to acquire this power of charisma, only a few are actually able to fully utilize it; most of them are actors and actresses, musicians, church leaders, and businesspersons – using their personal magnetic “charm” to expose their talents and career to many people, and influencing other people to follow their footsteps. The good news, on the other hand, and the secret you probably don’t know, is that each one of us already has the power of charisma within ourselves! But the thing is... we may not have developed it fully. So, if you constantly feel being rejected and unrecognized by others, don’t be discouraged right away. Perhaps, they just don’t feel the connection between you and them. What you have to do is enhance the charisma hiding inside of you. It’s not meant to be hidden forever, you know. Set it free. Use it…until you’re noticed, until you’re loved! |
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