 “A sense of humor stops hardening of the attitudes and creates people who are inversely paranoids -- they think the world is out to do them good.” - Joel Goodman A wise man once said that it is better to laugh than cry. If you want to increase your chance of surviving the difficulties in life, try to develop the ability to laugh at situations and yourself. According to experts, smiling actually requires fewer muscles than frowning. For the average human, developing a sense of humor has many benefits. People with highly developed sense of humor are motivated. They are usually more cheerful, reliable, and have better self-esteem. They also find it easier to make friends or establish relationships. When it comes to relationships, most people admit that finding someone with a great sense of humor is high on their list of priorities. This is one of the most desired traits, at least within the American culture. Men and women alike seem to value their partners and friends with great sense of humor. Developing a great sense of humor allows you to give the gift of laughter to family, friends, co-workers, and acquaintances. The sweet sound of laughter transcends social, cultural, or even spiritual boundaries. The sound of your loved one’s laughter is enough to bring a smile and lift your spirit. Happiness is an attitude. You reveal your sense of humor in many ways. Comedy is one of the easiest means to discover your gift of humor. Comedy, one of the funniest art forms, incorporates various humorous elements in life. Some people laugh to hide feelings of fear. Look around and you will see how scary and dangerous the world can be. With this, your first impulse is to run away. This is a common response to fear. You feel that you lost control over events that happen in this world. The logical brain says that you might be in trouble and you cannot do anything about it. In situations like this, it is better to laugh than cry. You should always remember to smile. According to doctors, laughter is a form of release from the anxiety, especially when terrible things happen to you or others. Most of us would rather laugh than cry; that is why we make jokes about circumstances bothering us, hoping to lighten the mood and introduce positive emotions. Developing your sense of humor will enable you to see the funny side of life and help others see it, too. People need the ability to laugh in order to see them through life. Finding Your Perfect Match Using Sense of Humor Sense of humor is an essential ingredient in some people’s search for meaningful relationships. People who never smile or laugh may find themselves more often alone. The next time you attend a social gathering, watch the guests carefully. You will find different types of personalities such as the “life of the party” and quiet/shy types. Invariably, the quiet/shy types rarely smile or laugh. They speak very little and end up standing in a corner alone. Other guests find themselves avoiding these types because frankly, they are not fun to be with all the time. It is very difficult to be around morose types of persons. They seem and probably are very depressed and unhappy. Some brave soul may attempt to cheer them up, usually to no avail. A great sense of humor is necessary in that all-important search for a mate. No one goes around looking for the perfect mate saying, “I’m looking for a guy/gal with no sense of humor.” Male or female, we are all looking for a mate with a great sense of humor. Before you begin that all-important search, start with the basics — know yourself! Do you know who you are? Be honest with yourself and answer these questions:
Just because you think you are funny is no guarantee that you possess it. Try to ask your close friends. Please note the saying “Birds of the same feather flock together.” It is likely that because they are your friends, they may have a similar sense of humor.
Is it positive and upbeat or on the sarcastic side?
It is most likely that you got your sense of humor from them. Your immediate family and relatives may have influenced you. When meeting a very important person, never entertain the thought that you can fake your sense of humor. It does not work that way. If you feel that you do not have a sense of humor, do not lose hope. Many possibilities exist to help you acquire it. No one is a lost cause. We will discuss more about building up and exercising that sense of humor in the next chapter. Now, we discuss that important ‘first date.’ Maybe a friend is trying to set you up with someone. This means that you will meet that person for the first time on a date. Naturally, you want to impress your date. You want to bring your best foot forward. For starters, do not try too hard! Trying too hard to be funny and amusing can turn off some people. There is no magic formula to transform you instantly into a witty and amusing individual. Right now, you may not have a great sense of humor, but it does not mean that you cannot develop one with some extra effort. Remember that nothing great ever comes easily. Your sense of humor is like a muscle in your body. It is never going to develop if you do not exercise it. You may never be a Debra Messing or a Sean Hayes but that does not mean you cannot learn to be witty and amusing. The important element in developing your humor muscle and in finding the perfect partner is this: You must be REAL. Remember this: You cannot fake it. Just be honest and true to yourself and others. Now, if you wish to find someone on your own, you need a plan. You can place a charming personal ad online or offline. You can try one of the many online dating services available. These dating services attempt to match people with the perfect guy/gal. Recently, I read about a person who opened an account in one of these online dating services. He directed interested parties to his personal web site, where he introduced himself in much detail. With more space in his site, he was able to display his wit and sense of humor to the interested party. The great part about using an online dating service is that you have a chance to learn new things about each other and get a feel of the other person’s sense of humor. You will be able to determine whether you are compatible long before you meet face to face. If his or her sense of humor leans more towards slapstick, while yours is more on political satire, you may clash on other topics as well. If his or her sense of humor borders on the sarcastic type and yours is more on word play, it could present a problem. However, if you found out you have common interests and enjoy similar types of jokes through email, you may have found your match. Congratulations! You are ready to meet and swap funny stories in person! The venue of your first date or meeting is another important factor. Some people are comfortable in a group setting, while others prefer a more personal setting to get to know the other person better. Many times a double date is a good way to help everyone feel more comfortable. Do you plan to see a movie on your first date? A Steve Martin comedy might be a better choice than a horror or drama flick. It is better to get to know someone over laughter than in tears. During your date, try to discover their humorous side. Look beyond their physical attributes and get to know the real person inside. More importantly, listen carefully. Humorous people are good listeners. This enables them to gather more information about the different things that make other people laugh. While on a date, do not take yourself too seriously. People who can laugh and poke fun at themselves are more fun to be with most of the time. You and your date will feel more relaxed. Let the humor flow easily. Nothing is sadder than watching someone trying hard to be funny. Remember that negative humor is a real date killer. Telling off-color jokes is a no-no for a first date. For Heaven’s sake, keep the humor appropriate and in good taste! Both men and women enjoy dating someone who makes them laugh. Light-hearted people are more fun to be with and are likely to have more dates. People, who are not necessarily physically attractive but are always happy and smiling, are likely to have more dates. People feel more at ease and comfortable with happy and constantly smiling people. “A smile is the curve that sets everything straight.” - Phyllis Diller |
|||||||||||||||||||||
|
|
|||||
|
|
|||||