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How To Find True Happiness


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What Is Happiness?




Manifest Your Desires Effortlessly

A report on happiness starts off with a quick look at the various definitions. Previous studies cited by The Happiness Show website traced the concept of happiness to the classical Greek word “Eudaimonia.” Etymologically, it consists of the words “eu” meaning good or well being, and “daimōn” referring to spirit or minor deity. This reference to spirit is extended to mean one's lot or fortune.

The same source sites a modern definition that refers to happiness “as a positive, enduring state that consists of positive feelings...and includes both peace of mind and active pleasures or joy."

Ruut Veenhoven, acknowledged as an expert on international happiness, described happiness as “the degree to which an individual judges the overall quality of his life-as-a whole favorably.” Related to this is one definition of the Oxford Universal Dictionary which suggests that “it is a feeling derived from satisfaction with one's circumstances.” Wikipedia defines happiness as “a prolonged or lasting emotional or affective state that feels good or pleasing.”

The scientific community also tried to provide a biological explanation on the said concept. In the human brain, the neurotransmitter dopamine is reported to be involved in desire and seems often related to pleasure.

The definition of happiness varies for every person. Aristotle declared, “Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence.” Happiness is commonly viewed as a fundamental goal in life. In fact, British people have rated happiness as their most important component of quality of Life. It is even more important to them than money, health, and sex!

Aren’t we curious to know how other people define happiness? For many, happiness is what they feel when they receive something – a material gift or some sort of favor.

On the other hand, some people find it better to give than to receive. They feel so much happiness from giving and sharing what they have. This selfless act can be the most joyful experience for those people with generous hearts. “There is a wonderful mythical law of nature that the three things we crave in life – happiness, freedom, and peace of mind – are always attained by giving them to someone else,” remarked by Peyton Conway March.

Happiness is also what we feel when we are satisfied with what we are doing or what we have attained or accomplished. There are people who derive happiness from their success, wealth, or power. According to Albert Schweitzer, “Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.”

What about the majority of people who are not lucky enough to achieve the dream they have long aspired for? Do they not have the right to be happy?

Of course, they do! Happiness starts with appreciating and finding satisfaction from simple things that life has to offer. The affection of a spouse, children, or grandchildren, the company of friends and colleagues, and the compliments paid to us – these are some of the simple things that capture the essence of true happiness.

“Happiness is what we feel when we get what we want” – this is probably the most common notion people have about happiness. If this concept of happiness is correct, then unhappiness is what we feel when we do not get what we want.

Consider the definition above. The keyword in the definition is the word “want.” The problem starts when we want something and maintain an expanding list of wants. This problem escalates when despite all efforts, only a small percentage of our wishes are fulfilled.

Unfulfilled wishes increase with time. As we grow older and fail to get what we want, we get frustrated and become unhappy. Frustration sets in when we fail to fulfill most of our desires. As we are exposed to TV, magazines, Internet, and other media, we compile a list of endless and unrealistic demands. Because of this, life becomes an endless race to fulfill desires.

According to Benjamin Franklin, "There are two ways of being happy: We must either diminish our wants or augment our means -- either may do -- the result is the same and it is for each man to decide for himself and to do that which happens to be easier."

To break out of this cycle, we must try to manage our needs and wants. Stephen Johnson differentiates wants and needs in his book Yes Or No: Guide To Better Decisions. He said, “A want is a wish. A need is a necessity.”

We must learn to prioritize our needs over wants. Needs are things that are necessary in life, such as food, shelter, and basic necessities. Common wants are represented by latest models of cell phones, plasma TV, IPod, designer jeans, luxury cars, and the like. These are our desires, but we can continue living without these in our lives. Stephen Johnson differentiates the two concepts in a simple way, “In life, we may want a fancy house but need a loving home.”

We cannot be truly happy if we keep on “wanting” or “desiring” more than what we have. Contentedness is the gateway to happiness. There is nothing wrong with having wants, just as long as these things provide a positive motivating force. It is okay as long as we find happiness and fulfillment in the process of going after our wants. Irrational wants can limit our happiness if we make these the focus of our lives; hence, these only become sources of frustration.

Happiness is a personal decision. We are in charge with our own lives. So if we truly want to be happy, let us be guided by this advice from Ken Keyes Jr., "We always have enough to be happy if we are enjoying what we do have -- and not worrying about what we don't have."

Real happiness comes from within us and it starts by being satisfied with what we have. It does not matter if we have little in terms of material possessions. It is finding contentment with things that we possess.

First key to happiness: Learn to appreciate simple things and manage desires.